The Daily Prophet


Harry Potter and the Joshua Asylum
*must be read in a British Accent

Days ago, the Joshua class of 2017 received acceptance letters by owl from the professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  As a result, tonight is the start of term.  The Joshua class will be arriving in time for dinner, and the sorting into their respected houses. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. While they are there, their houses will be like their families. Their triumphs (PASSING PHILIPPIANS) will earn them points; any rule breaking will lose them points (kicked out of Joshua, haha).  I have heard that some of the students they are expecting tonight include: a Ms. Luna Lovegood ( Caitlynn Callan), a Mr. Nevell Longbottom ( Jacob Devore), Sirs Fred and George Weasley (Keegan Castro and Drew Austin), a Mr. Cedric Diggory (Sam Newnes), a Mr. Draco Malfoy (Brian Nyberg), a Mr. Ronald Weasley (Christian Combs), a Ms. Ginerva Weasley (Audrey Chapman), a Ms. Hermione Granger (Dani Peacon), a Mr. Harry James Potter (Jono Loman), as well as a great many others. The students, I’m sure are finishing up their last minute packing right now (pulling their costumes together for tonight’s theme dinner of Harry Potter), and will soon be leaving for platform 93/4, where they will say farewell to their parents for the school year. Along with the student’s arrival, they can expect many special guests for the sorting ceremony, such as: Sirs Regulus and Sirius Black (Zach Tingle and Colby Hatfield), a Mrs. Bellatrix Lestrange (Karina Monascal), and a Ms. Fleur Delacore (Courtney Barton). After the sorting ceremony takes place, Professor Dumbledore (Jim Cook, the speaker for this last week) will give his start of term speech, complete with rules and expectations for the year. (Jim shared his heart of Champions for Christ rather than Chumps for Christ, and provided prophetic, historic, and archeological proof.  He also shared a plethora of mad stories of pet tigers, 6’4 Jungle oxen, and the many people he has lost due to their firm stance on the Gospel.) This year, the students can expect to take classes (Pauline Epistles), write essays (an explanation on the importance of church discipline), learn spells (book discussion of The Pursuit of Holiness), take herbology (devotions), and explore muggle camps to learn how to interact with and serve alongside muggles (working the fisherman’s conference this weekend). Overall, I am expecting a wonderful evening tonight, and a very exciting term at Hogwarts.

Article written by: Rita Skeeter

(Madi Saunders, Kaylee Fowler, and Karina Monascal).

View photos from the night here!


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